Shatter Me
by Krazy Ky-Sta Hatter
Summary: An Akuma attack during Marinette's birthday leaves Chat and her father severely injured. Being able to only heal one she is forced to make a choice between the two people she loves. Broken and full of guilt, she feels like a failure and falls under Hawkmoth's spell, becoming Amber Heart, the Akuma intent on protecting everyone.


_**Hey everyone!  
Just adding this one to my giant list of 'I've been working on this one for ages'. (Like, seriously. I have over 50 WIPs for this fandom alone. No jokes. ...Save me).  
This one was inspired by a lovely drawing I saw on DeviantART. I will eventually link it, but not just yet as it is a bit of a spoiler.  
The Akuma is my own design and honestly, I had a LOT of fun with it. Marinette has such a wonderful range of potential Akumas. I have a drawing of her at the bottom.**_

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 **Frozen by the Fear**

Marinette stared down at the half unwrapped box in her hand. The bright Ladybug spot wrapper was torn away slightly to reveal the dark blue of a velvet box underneath. When she had first seen the small package amongst the others, she had thought that it was from Alya. So she had been a little surprised when she had found that it was from her father.

She had joked that he was secretly a Ladybug fan, and he had wholeheartedly agreed that he was, talking so highly about her alter ego she actually blushed. Alya had chortled and cried out that she knew he was. And the next thing she knew, everyone was chiming in and saying how much they liked Ladybug. Her parents, Alya, and Adrien were the loudest in voicing their admiration and it took effort for her not to react as if they were talking about her...

And that had been when the Akuma attacked.

She remembered watching ice cover the park with surprise and a fair bit of annoyance. Annoyance… it felt like such a pathetic emotion to have had. Like defending the city, defending its citizens, was an inconvenience.

The Akuma revealed himself soon enough and Marinette wasn't even shocked anymore to realise that she recognised him. It was the boy who lived a few houses down from her, Jaque Durant. He was a year or two older than her and she knew that he was a very talented ice skater. She knew that he had a competition coming up… and going by the fact he was Akumatized, it mustn't have gone well. He looked oddly familiar in a different way, though. She had realised that his costume looked similar to a movie character… His blond hair and turned white and seemed like ice itself, but he was wearing brown and navy blue, his entire costume covered in frost, and he held a wooden staff that was curved at the end like a hook. His skin was almost white. He looked like Jack Frost from 'Rise of the Guardians'… only… icy-er and wearing skates instead of going barefoot.

Jaque Frost… of course.

Jaque had attacked their table the moment that he laid eyes on it, spikes of ice shooting towards them. Everyone had scattered, abandoning everything in favour of getting the hell out of there. It had given her the opportunity to find somewhere to hide and transform and then she was back out there ready to face him as Ladybug. Chat Noir must have been somewhere nearby because it was mere seconds later that he landed next to her. She wouldn't have been surprised if he had been on his way to her party. She saw his eyes dart back towards her scattered group of friends, probably looking for her to make sure she was safe. His brow crumpled in worry when he hadn't seen her.

"She's fine, Chat," she'd reassured him. It was a relief when she saw him visibly relax. They couldn't afford for him to spend the battle worrying about her safety as well as… well, __her__ safety, like he usually did.

Jaque Frost was a formidable Akuma, but the battle was going well… That was, until they discovered the reason for his Akumatization. It turns out that a bunch of idiots had not only teased him for competing in a 'girls sport', but they had also sabotaged him during his routine, causing him to get incredibly low marks and almost break an ankle.

And hearing this, her father had broken from his hiding spot to talk to him. Trying to appeal to the boy hidden somewhere inside, placating him and distracting him some. It went well for a little while, but then the butterfly mask had appeared around his face as Hawkmoth spoke to him, and he attacked her father. She had screamed as icicles had sped towards him, one impaling him in the side. She had tried to rush towards him to help him, but the next thing she knew, she was being knocked out of the way. Chat had fallen to the ground beside her a moment later, an icicle imbedded in his abdomen. Blood was quickly seeping around the wound, the ice turning red where it met his skin.

She had cried out his name and knelt beside him, her hands frantically fluttering over him, unsure what to do. Neither of them had ever been injured this bad before… and now he was hurt because of her. Dangerously so.

She had glanced back towards her father, seeing her mother at his side, already attempting to stifle his bleeding and call an ambulance. She had wrapped a shred of their tablecloth around the shard of ice. Right, that was something they had learnt in the first aid course they'd taken as a family. If someone's been impaled by something, don't pull it out if you can help it, they'll only bleed out faster.

She looked back down at Chat in worry. She had to do something to help him. He needed to get to the hospital right then, but… this wasn't an Akuma she could face alone. She could have used her Lucky Charm and hope for something like bandages for him… but then she would have five minutes to try and take down the Akuma by herself with no item to help her. Even then, Chat wouldn't have been able to help her. And she needed him for that fight.

That had only left her with one choice. Miraculous Cure. Only… she knew her limits. She knew how much damage she could heal. Damaged buildings… sure. Easy. But people… wounds were harder. She could fix time paradoxes and bring people back from whatever state they had been put in. But physical injuries sustained during a fight… they were harder. If she wanted to heal someone's wounds, she had to focus on them completely. And that meant that depending on how bad the wound, nothing else could be fixed.

Both her father and Chat were in a __very__ bad way. She didn't know exactly how bad they were, but she had been scared that at the rate they were losing blood, neither would make it to the hospital in time. With his suit protecting him and slowing the process, Chat had a better chance, but…

She had to make a choice. She'd had to chose to save her father or her boyfriend. And sadly, her choice was already made. She had needed Chat's help. So she had performed Miraculous Cure, throwing her yoyo up in the sky and focusing all her energy on Chat Noir. It had hurt to do it, guilt flooding through her as she thought of her father lying behind her, bleeding to death…

It had been a decent fight after that. She had called Lucky Charm and together she and Chat had defeated Jacque Frost with a bit of effort and trickery (it had not been easy getting his skates off his feet). She barely had time to purify the Akuma before she had to run and transform. But thankfully by the time she got back, she saw an ambulance loading her father into the back. It really hadn't taken much to play the part of the worried daughter. But her father had just assured her that he would be alright. Then her mother had placed a hand on her shoulder and jumped in the back with him.

They had driven off, leaving her standing in the middle of a frozen park, feeling scared and guilty.

That had been fifteen minutes ago. Alya had taken her to her room and helped her calm down. Then she and Nino had gone out to the park to clean up the ruins of her party.

So now she sat on her bed, her eyes swollen and red, looking down at the still unopened gift from her father.

At the sound of light footsteps on her terrace, she looked up to see Chat Noir's worried face. As usual, the skylight was unlocked, and he opened it and gently climbed in beside her.

"Hey Princess," he said quietly.

"Hey," she replied, her voice cracking. Seeing him here almost made her want to burst into tears again. Chat must have realised this, because the next moment she was in his arms as he stroked her hair soothingly.

"Shh. It's okay. It's going to be okay, Mari."

"H-he was impaled by ice," she sniffed. " _ _You__ were impaled by ice! I - I couldn't-" Chat held her tighter.

"He's going to be okay," he assured her. "You'll see. Tom's a strong man, he'll pull through."

She nodded, trying to convince herself he was telling the truth. Her Kitty never lied to her unless he had to for obvious reasons. So he couldn't be lying about this, right?

"I was so scared," she murmured. "You were both hurt. You-"

"I'm fine," he promised her. "Ladybug healed me… I - I'm sorry your father wasn't too. It's not Ladybug's fault… it-it's just how it works. There's only so much she can fix at once, and when it comes to wounds… well, there's even less. She's probably really upset about it. She had to make a heat of the moment decision, and the Akuma was still a threat, and-"

"Chat," she cut him off. "I-it's okay. I understand."

She understood it better than he did. But that didn't change the fact that she had failed to protect them. She had been about to tell him that she didn't blame Ladybug… but that was a lie. It was all her fault. She hadn't gotten to her father in time to protect him. And she didn't pay enough attention as she was heading over to him. If she had then Chat wouldn't have had to jump in front of her and take the hit that was meant for her. If she had been stronger, maybe she could have healed both of them. But she didn't. She wasn't strong enough. And she wasn't able to protect two of the most important people in her life. What kind of hero was she, when she couldn't even do that?

"Hey. Hey, Mari, stop it. I know that look," Chat said, grabbing her hands in his and ducking his face down so she would look at him. "Everything's going to be alright. This wasn't your fault. It wasn't anybody's fault. Except maybe Hawkmoths, but what's new. There wasn't anything you could have done. Actually, it's a good thing you were hidden. I would have gone out of my mind if you were out there. If he had hurt you..." He sighed heavily, running a hand through his hair. "I - I guess it is kind of my fault. If I had gotten her out of the away in time, she wouldn't have had to choose."

"No," she growled quietly. "This isn't your fault. Don't you dare blame yourself for protecting someone you care about." At least he had actually succeeded, even if it had hurt him in the process. He had saved her… she hadn't even been paying attention to him.

"Yeah, and I got hurt doing it. I put the mission in danger… I put you and your family in danger."

Putting down the small parcel, Marinette turned and took his face in her hands. "No, you saved them. "Y-yes, my father was hit… and you were hit… But you saved Ladybug. And she helped you and you both took down the Akuma together. If you hadn't done that, then all of Paris would be in danger. You were right before: this wasn't anyone's fault," she lied. She was not about to tell Chat she blamed Ladybug, even if that __was__ her blaming herself. She knew he would stick up for her actions, no matter what… no matter how bad they were. "Like you said, if you really want to blame someone, blame Hawkmoth."

This managed to make Chat laugh a little. "I do. Everyday," promised. He held her close again, giving her a reassuring snuggle. "Your dad will be fine. He's strong. And your mum seemed to know what she was doing with that first aid."

"We took a first aid course together," she told him. "I thought it would be a good idea in case someone got hurt in an attack. Mum and Dad, Alya, Nino, Adrien… you. I just… I just want people to be safe."

A soft smile flittered across his face as he looked down at her, brushing her fringe away from her tearstained face. "You're amazing, Marinette," he whispered. "What on earth did I do to deserve someone as amazing and brave as-"

Suddenly he was cut off by Marinette pressing her lips to his. He could tell that she was still crying and gently trailed his hands up so he was holding her just below the shoulders, his thumbs gently massaging her skin. When she pulled away, she only pulled away enough that their foreheads rested together. He glanced up at her worryingly, watching as fresh tears leaked out of her eyes as she screwed them shut.

It hurt him to see her this upset. He had no idea how to make it better. Marinette was always so happy, and something like this...

"I need you to promise me something," she said quietly. He pulled away from her and gave her a slight nod, waiting for her request. "Promise me you'll be more careful. I don't care if Ladybug is in danger or what. Just promise me. Promise me that you won't put yourself in danger like that again!"

"Mari, I-"

"Please, Kitty. I need you to be safe. More than anything."

One look into her wide, pleading, tear-filled eyes was all it took. It was clear that she had been worried about him. He wasn't going to stop protecting Ladybug, but if a promise to be more careful would make her feel better, he would give it to her a thousand times. "Alright," he said, "I promise."

"Thank you!" she sobbed, surging forwards and wrapping her arms around his waist. She jumped back in surprise, however, when Chat hissed loudly in pain.

"Sorry, I'm okay!" he said quickly, holding up a hand to try and stop her panicking. "Still just a little sore. Ladybug's Miraculous Cure didn't quite work as well as usual." In an instant, Marinette felt as cold as Jaque Frost's ice, and for a moment she imagined she had been impaled as well. He was still hurt? The one thing she had been able to do during this horrible fight was heal Chat... and she couldn't even do that right. Chat seemed to notice her reaction, though, and was quick to reassure her. But he was reassuring her of the wrong thing. "Hey, no, no! I'm fine. I am. I promise you that I'll be one hundred percent by the morning. This isn't the first time it's happened. Maybe it was the cold? Ladybug doesn't do so well in the cold. It's a... well, Ladybug thing. Kinda like me and the scratches." He frowned when that didn't even draw a hint of a smile out of her. "Marinette? Princess? Are you-"

"I'm alright," she told him, cutting him off. "I'm just... I'm just worried. Don't worry, I'll be fine. I just..."

"Hey, it's okay. Sometimes these things just happen. Occupational hazard, remember?" he told her softly. "You know that I try to be careful."

And she did. She had voiced her concerns for his safety to him multiple times as both Ladybug and Marinette. And she had noticed a difference. In the last year he hadn't been hurt or hit by the villain as often. He was less reckless. Instead of just acting as a shield he would often try and get them both out of the way.

"I just… I hate this. I hate not being able to help properly. I hate it when people I care about get hurt."

"I know," he said, holding her close to him. "It won't always be like this, I promise. One day we'll get him." She nodded, making her fringe mess up as it rubbed against his suit. One day they would catch Hawkmoth… Hopefully. If one of them hadn't died due to her ineptitude by then.

They stayed there like that for a while, just holding each other quietly. Even though she felt terrible, the feeling of her boyfriend's body pressed against hers made her feel a bit better and calm down. She almost wished that she could snuggle into his side for the rest of the night and not come out until there was good news. But if Alya came back and caught them… well, that would be an awkward conversation. And if there was one thing she did know about her Kitty's personal life, she knew that his father was very strict. She couldn't afford to keep him all day, not without getting him in trouble. And she couldn't do that. She couldn't mess things up for him in that regard too.

"Thank you, Chat. I - I think I'll be okay now," she said, drawing back from him.

"You sure?" he asked her. Marinette nodded silently. He shot her a doubtful look and she smiled at him reassuringly.

"Really, Kitty. I'll be okay. M-Maman will call soon with good news… right?"

"Undoubtedly. Your dad is the strongest teddy bear I've ever met. If anyone could make it through this with no problem, it would be him." Thankfully, this did make her smile, but he still looked at her in worry. "Are you sure you're okay? I can stay as long as you want. I don't __have__ to go home."

She smiled gratefully at him. "Yeah. Yeah, I'll be fine. Alya and Nino are outside. And besides, I don't want you to get in trouble."

Chat smiled softly and dropped a kiss on the top of her head. "I'm not expected back for another hour, but if Alya's near by I should probably scat. Don't want __you__ to get in trouble with her."

They had discussed the Alya situation a few times. Marinette did want her best friend to know she was dating someone, and Chat Noir wanted _ _someone__ to know that Marinette was his girlfriend. But considering who her best friend was… they both decided it wasn't worth the hassle. There was a high chance that she would bug Marinette to get as much information on him as she could, or ask for interviews with him. She still asked for interviews with Ladybug occasionally.

"Might be a good idea… just to be safe," she told him. He could see that she was still upset, tears still lingering in her eyes. But she was trying to be strong, and he didn't want to be overbearing, no matter how worried he was.

"Alright then. I'll head out." He gently wrapped his arms around her, kissing her forehead in goodbye. "Message me if you need anything. Even if it's just a hug or something..." His frowned deepened when she said nothing, only nodding a reply. "I love you," he told her.

"Love you, too," she said quietly, managing a small, watery smile for him.

Satisfied that she would be okay with Alya like she'd said, he jumped back out of her skylight and onto the roofs of Paris, intent on tracking down the other girl he knew would be upset by today's events.

Marinette sighed as she watched him go, guilt still weighing on her heavily. She didn't like lying to Chat Noir, but she still couldn't bring herself to tell him who she was. And Tikki was still somewhat against the idea as well, telling her that she should wait until something drastic happened, or if she had no choice.

So it wasn't like she could have let on just how upset about this she was. She knew that it was all her fault. If it wasn't for her, neither of them would have been injured. And if she were better at her job, they would both be fine anyway.

"Marinette," a soft voice said. She looked up to see Tikki floating before her. Tears were blurring her vision slightly, but she could still see the concerned expression on her Kwami's face. "It's not your fault," she told her for the eighth time since they'd detransformed.

"But I-"

"No." She shook her head firmly, but her eyes still held her signature kindness. "There are no buts about it. It wasn't your fault. You couldn't have foreseen this coming, and you did all you could. You did your best. Chat Noir is fine, and I just know that your dad is going to come out of it okay as well. You'll see."

"Yeah…"

Seeing that her chosen still didn't seem to believe her, she decided to change her tactic to distraction. "Hey, how about you finish opening up that gift your dad gave you. It will be cool to see what he got you. You could have it on you when you go see him!"

"Oh, yeah. Yeah, good idea, Tikki," she said.

Another small smile flitted across her face and she picked the half wrapped box from where she'd placed it down. She continued to rip off the wrapping, ignoring the gut wrenching feeling she got seeing the ladybug pattern. Underneath the wrapping was a small velvet box… it was a bit too big to be a ring or earrings (thank goodness). Curiously, she opened it up to reveal a necklace. It was a simple, thin silver chain with an amber pendant. The amber had been fashioned into a heart and polished. Inside she could see a ladybug, frozen inside.

Her eyes widened and she took it out, holding it out to Tikki. "Oh my god, it has a ladybug inside!"

"Aww! Poor thing," Tikki cooed, getting in close to take a look at it. "It is very pretty, though."

"Yeah, but now I'm wondering if they somehow think I'm a Ladybug fan or… Oh no! Tikki, do you think they know?!"

Tikki looked thoughtful for a moment. "It is a possibility," she replied. "You do live in close quarters, and there is only so much you can hide. It could just be that they think it's pretty and something you'd like. But if they do know… maybe this is their subtle way of telling you that they support you." The Kwami grinned brightly, hoping to raise her Chosen's mood. However, her words seemed to have the opposite effect.

"Yeah… some good I did them. They support me, and I nearly get Papa killed!"

She looked down numbly at the pendant in her hand. At the little Ladybug trapped inside, looking as perfect as the day it was encased... Amber... Amber protected and preserved. It kept anything that wandered into it safe... She wished she could do that. She wished that she could keep everyone safe from harm and the ravages of time... like amber.

She let out a deep breath, closing her eyes in anguish. All she wanted to do was protect everyone. And she could barely even do that! What was the point of having magic powers if she just stuffed it up at every turn?!

...Maybe she was right the first day. Maybe Paris was better off without her.

Suddenly she was aware of someone else with her. She looked about the room, searching for the presence she could sense, but only saw Tikki near by, covering her mouth in horror.

"Marinette…" she squeaked worryingly. She was just about to reply when she heard another voice echo in her head.

" _ _Hello, Amber Heart…__ " Amber Heart? Who was Amber Heart? Who was that talking to-

She drew in a sharp breath when she realised she recognised the voice. No. No, she couldn't…

"Hawkmoth," she whispered, panic starting to spread through her. Her eyes flicked to Tikki and she waved her away, hoping that this wouldn't reveal her. How could this happen? How could she get so upset that Hawkmoth found her?

" _ _There is no need to fear, Amber Heart__ ," the deep, silky smooth voice soothed her. " __I am here to help you. You're afraid for the ones you love. You're scared that you can't protect them. I can give you that power.__ "

"No! I don't need your help!" she told him firmly. She winced, though, when he head began to ache. Her mind felt heavy, like a horrible headache was setting in and her concentration wavered.

"Marinette!" Tikki cried, flying over to her and taking her cheek in her arms. "Marinette, you have to focus! Fight him!" she pleaded. "You're doing so well!"

"I - don't need - your power," she managed to ground out, starting to struggle to see through the purple haze that was clouding her vision.

" _ _Oh, but you do, my dear. Who else is going to protect everyone from the dangers that trouble Paris? Your Chat Noir can't. He only ever gets hurt, and you know that one day, without your help, he will die trying to do this. And Ladybug certainly can't. Look what happened today. Chat Noir, your father… She couldn't save them both. What about next time it happens? What will happen next time when it's more than just them? She can't save them, Amber Heart, but you can. You can protect them all.__ "

"I - I can…?" she murmured.

" _ _Yes, you can. All you have to do is bring me something in return, and you will have the power to protect the whole of Paris.__ "

"I can protect everyone… I can keep them safe…"

"Marinette, no!" Tikki cried.

" _ _That's right, my dear. Everyone will be safe. All you have to do is accept.__ "

"I just have to accept? And everyone will be safe? Forever?"

" _ _You have my word.__ "

"Oh no," Tikki said mournfully. With what little was left of herself, Marinette was able to recognise a heartbroken look on her Kwami's face, before the small creature flew higher on her head, pressing their foreheads together. There was a bright pink flash and the world spun dizzyingly around her a moment. "Be strong, Marinette. You can fight him, I know you can!" And then she was gone, zipped off somewhere she could not see.

She opened her mouth, attempting to do what Tikki had said, trying to resist. But her thoughts were slow and sluggish, and leaning more towards the lies Hawkmoth had been weaving for her.

"Alright, Hawkmoth," she found herself saying. "Let's do this."

And then she burned. Darkness covered her vision in a storm of black bubbles. She felt as if she were being consumed by Chat Noir's Cataclysm. Thankfully, the pain receded as quick as it came. She knew she was in control, but at the same time, she felt as if she were trapped behind a glass shield in her mind, unable to truly do what she wanted. Unable to stop.

She turned her head slightly to see a stranger looking in the mirror on her vanity. She was very similar to Marinette… and also very similar to Ladybug. Her hair, though, was loose, standing up straight with the tips a dark orange, looking like a strange blue and orange flame. She had a mask on her face that was very similar to her own, only it came down to a point on her nose. A heart-shaped mask. Her dress was utterly adorable, and she couldn't help commending the design. It had a sweetheart neckline with no straps. A bodice wrapped around her waist, starting just under her bust and going down to her hips, but it gathered towards the centre at a large amber gem, giving the bust a heart like appearance… and at the same time also having an eerie resemblance to a black butterfly. The skirt was multi-layered and puffy, also seeming to make a heart-like shape. She had matching gloves that stretched up to her elbows. Her legs were coated in fishnets, rather than the usual skintight material her suit was made from. And probably the most disturbing… though the amber colour of the dress was appropriate, what really unsettled her was the black spots that covered it. She looked like a ladybug… a dead one.

Despite the horrifying thought, her black lips curled up in a smirk.

"I will protect everyone. I will keep them safe…"

She quickly turned and fired a beam of power out of the open skylight, hitting a bird. She watched as the bird was covered in amber, frozen in a solid crystal. It fell to her roof, but the amber remained hole, the bird inside still safe from any damage.

"Forever."

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 _ **Hey! So, I spend a good amount of time doing this really awesome character sheet drawing of Amber Heart. Please check it out!  
Go to my tumblr and add this on the end of the URL:**_

 ** _post/157596462093/amber-heart-one-of-my-currently-two-marinette_**


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